My Perfect Man (as of today)

So lately I've been getting a lot of backfire from guys because I said I made a list of what I want my perfect guy to be like in order for me to date again. I guess because I didn't make the list visible they make think its some outrageous stuff on there when its mostly personality traits so I decided I would post the list for all to see.

·         Brave

·         Enthusiastic

·         Willing to defend me and have my back

·         Very romantic

·         Hygienic

·         Very clean cut

·         Prep boy swag

·         Likes to dance/party/socialize

·         Not a smoker

·         Drinks but rarely (special occasions only)

·         Driven

·         Has high self-esteem (not conceited)

·         Knows what he wants out of life and has a plan on how to get there

·         Dark chocolate man with a beautiful smile

·         heterosexual

·         Close to where I live or willing to move closer

·         Supportive

·         Family-oriented

·         Willing to compromise

·         Lean in body muscle (not skinny)

·         Passionate love-maker who likes to get a little rough

·         Spiritual (not religious)

·         Responsible

·         Can manage/budget money well

·         Doesn’t get super irritated when work gets busy

·         Can communicate well with me about how he’s feeling

·         Very open and honest and considerate about feelings when being honest

·         Willing to do community service/give back to society

·         Likes to go out but mostly likes to chill and cuddle while watching a movie

·         Will believe that our relationship is an equal partnership

·         Nice lips

·         Facial hair (not a lot though)

·         Creative

·         Influential

·         Motivated

·         Mature

·         Willing to make an adequate amount of time for me

·         Affectionate

·         Strong upper body (nice arm muscles)

·         Fit (doesn’t have a gut)

·         Nice teeth

·         Kind of tall

·         Adventurous/Daring

·         Open-minded

·         Willing to expand his knowledge

·         Playful

·         Great sense of humor

·         Very understanding and able to admit when he’s in the wrong/humble

·         Strong, masculine presence

·         Sensual/Sexy

·         Big, bright eyes that show the depths of his soul (long eyelashes)

·         Jet black hair

·         Not needy/ Independent

·         Works hard on self-growth and forgiveness

     So there it is ladies and gents! Nothing to be worried about and nothing that isn't achievable.

Let's Not Play the Blame Game

So I am currently going through a growing experience. I decided that I would be celibate for at least 100 days (which at this stage in my life it may last way longer than that but I said 100 days as a start) and during that time to do a lot of self reflection and try to grow as much as possible mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. So along the way I have been having a lot of epiphanies and well last night and this morning I had another one.

That epiphany was that I do not owe anybody anything. I say that because I am generally a very nice person and a generous friend and I feel like many people take that for granted. I am not going to bend over backwards to be on someone's good side, to help them feel better about a situation, or take care of them emotionally or physically. If u want my help or advice then say so but do not expect for me to go all out my way because in all actuality to be worried about others so much is draining me from properly taking care of myself which is detrimental to my character. People don't understand that the more I work on being the best me I can be, the better I can help you be the best you that you can be. I don't jump on pity parties, I show solutions and if I know you're not ready to hear that then I give you your space. I just don't like it when people try to make me the enemy because I'm leaving them to be responsible to fight their own battles without draining my own energy! I just want people to know that I will be there when you're in need, but when I cannot offer you the help that you want, I fade to the background until you are ready, but I do not wait around for people to be ready because in all honesty if you do not continue to grow I will still continue to do so without you. But whenever you decide that you want to grow with me as my friend, significant other, family, business partner or whatever, then I will gladly reach back and pull you forward, but only if you ask it of me. I will not struggle to bring you up to speed and THAT'S REAL!